Taylor and I (A Philosophical Love Story)

The video above is from the band Quiet Company, and over the last year or so I’ve gotten to know their lead singer/songwriter Taylor.

The first time I really got to talk to Taylor was at the Mohawk after a concert.  We soon found out that we both had an unhealthy love for the Smashing Pumpkins, which sent us into a tailspin about our favorite Pumpkin albums, and our disappointment with the current direction of the once mighty SP.

Since then, I’ve really been drawn to him.  It sounds a little weird, but sometimes you meet people that you just like instantly, and Taylor is one of these people.

Over time Taylor and I have gotten into direct discussions about religion, and probably some indirect ones via our blogs (you can read Taylor’s here).   I believe part of my reasons for enjoying Taylor’s quiet company (I just had to), is because we both have similar backgrounds, but have ended up on different sides of the fence philosophically. We both grew up in Christian households, and both considered ourselves Christians at one point in our lives.  Now that we’re older, I have chosen to continue in my belief of Christianity, but Taylor has stepped out of that faith and now considers himself a Deistic Humanist.

On Taylor’s blog, he recently put up a post (read it here) questioning whether you can respect a person if you have no respect for their beliefs.  One day over lunch, Taylor brought this up to me, and because I am not as quick on my feet as Taylor, I did not really have a good answer.  Now that I’ve thought it through some, I thought I would respond.

Honestly, I believe the answer really relies on the question being posed.  If the question is: Can you respect someone if you do not have respect for their beliefs? My answer would be no.  Our beliefs are really central to who we are as individuals, and I believe, they are very connected to the core of each person.  I don’t believe someone’s belief system can be separated from the individual carrying those beliefs.  They are integrated.

One definition for repect is “esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person.”  If we ascribe to this definition of respect, and the idea that an individual and their beliefs are both integrated, then you cannot see little value in a belief system, and see great value in the person who carries those beliefs.

This appears to hold true throughout many worldviews.  We have terrorists because terrorists believe Americans have a bad belief system, and therefore, have no value as individuals.  People destroy abortion clinics because they see no value in the lives of those performing the abortions.

In writing this, I am seeing how vital this is to Christianity.  As a Christian, I am asked to love my neighbor as myself, but if I believe someone elses believe system is utter rubbish, then how could I ever see the true value in that person.  You cannot love a person when you devalue something that is central to who they are.

However, if this question is posed: Can you respect someone if you disagree with their beliefs? To this I would say yes.  The word disagree is defined as “having a differing opinion.”  Assuming that belief is central to who an individual is, I can easily see how you can disagree with a persons belief system without devaluing them as a person.  This is where Taylor and I are at (unless Taylor just thinks I’m a complete idiot, and just hasn’t told me yet).

Taylor and I disagree over what each other believes, but I do not think less of him for his beliefs, and I don’t believe he thinks less of me either.  I think this is really where we need to be in society.  Our current political system would not be as polarized as it is today, if it weren’t for people on both sides of the aisle, devaluing the others beliefs.  To disagree, still seems to include love, while the lack of respect does not.

It’s good to have people in your life with differing beliefs.  I’m thankful to know Taylor, because our discussions really make me question why I believe what I believe, and that is healthy.

Tomorrow, I’ll tell you why I like this song so much.